Dead Alive and Loving It

Okay, so the title of this post is somewhat misleading because, even though I did in fact watch Peter Jackson’s (yes PETER JACKSON’S) Dead Alive (or Braindead as it’s known in New Zealand) I didn’t quite love it. I’m a bit torn between hating the story and a lot of the acting and LOVING the gore. Sure the gore was great, but the story was difficult to follow at best and completely nonsensical and cartoony at worst. I do remember seeing this video at the video store and wondering how it was with that freaky skeleton leering out from that girl’s mouth. I’ll put it this way, if you’re a gore fan you NEED to see this movie. Between the dinner scene where mom’s falling apart, the zombie sex scene and the last 15-20 minutes or so of the movie, you’ll get your money’s worth. Just don’t expect the kind of flick you normally would from the guy who directed those Lord of the Rings movies people like so much. That being said, I’m just going to publish my viewing notes on this one again. Enjoy!
Oh, duh, the movie’s about this doofy guy whose mom gets bitten by this rat monkey thing that got imported from what looks like King Kong’s Skull Island. That turns her into a zombie, of course, and then she in turn turns a bunch of other people into zombies, ignoring the first rule of not getting your head ripped off my a zombie: cap anyone you even THINK is a zombie. Sorry folks, but that’s how you gotta roll if you want to survive.

Dead Alive/Braindead (1992)

Written by Stephen Sinclair, Fran Walsh & Peter Jackson
Directed by Peter Jackson
Starring a bunch of New Zealanders

Braindead/Dead Alive

Claymation rat monkey is awesome, holy sh!t, he ripped a chimp’s arm off

Old lady crushes the rat monkey’s head-AWESOME

His mother sucks

“Your mother ate my dog!” “Not all of it” HAHAHA

Needles to the eyes and nose, nice

I should be paying better attention

The old guy in a purple robe just kicked a dude’s head off and then died

Why is he not killing these zombies?

Zombies copping a feel and making out and having sex?, oh god, he lost his face

Monster baby in the park - hilarity ensues

THIS guy directed Lord of the Rings?

Haha, he punches zombie baby in the face, the homeless guy loves it

Who’s the guy who thinks he’s a Texan Elvis? Why isn’t he FREAKING OUT about the walking dead? Oh, he wants the house, maybe (?), I should have paid better attention

Annnnd, now there’s a party? WHAT!? THERE’S FREAKING MONSTERS IN THE HOUSE!

Haha, it’s a wig

They think burying the undead will do anything? Hey, back to the party!

Oops, he gave them stimulant instead of whatever he meant to and now super-zopmbies are bursting through the floor!

They ripped that dude’s RIBCAGE out! And that dudes’ face off! There go her guts!

Now they’re ALL zombies! What a terrible party

That guy’s entire lower skin got ripped off (he’s just leg bones)! She got punched through the back of her head!

Really? A running-in-place-on-blood joke?

Elvis just tore out that zombies teeth with pliers!

That lung/intestine monster looks pretty cool

That baby zombie just won’t die

There’s a dead broad in the attic?

Elvis may be a jerk but he does a good job of hacking those zombies to bits. He has a bit too much fun doing it though. Yeesh

Elvis gets his spine ripped out by what looks like a Todd MacFarlane monster

Finally, the infamous lawnmower scene, later zombies. Bloodies scene EVER

They blended a head

Elvis as a spine monster looks rad, like something out of The Thing

These are probably the best 15-20 minutes in gore history

Oh! the baby just ripped that ladies head open FROM THE INSIDE

Mental note, get a manual lawnmower, just in case

Mother vs. son, woah, gnarly rack monster mom

You tell that bee-yotch sonny boy, she was a murderer even before she turned into a zombie

Her belly just ate her son and he promptly punches his way out. YEAH DUDE

IT’S OVER!

Showing My “O” Face

So, the wife had to work on Saturday. Bummer for her, good for my movie watching. I got to flipping through my DVD binder (hey, gotta conserve space, right?) and I got to the O’s. We were flipping through channels the night before and caught the beginning of Old School, the part where Luke Wilson comes home early and his wife has some people over for a little group sex (can I say that?). The way they edited it to cut out all the boobs was pretty funny. So, that made me want to watch it again. After that I still had a little time so I popped on Office Space.

Back in college I watched Old School a lot. I was actually in a fraternity at the time called Alpha Sigma Phi. Before you start making rash judgments (hey, I made the same ones before I met these guys) this isn’t the kind of fraternity you see on TV in movies (like Old School) or hear about on the news. Anyway, a large group of us went to see Old School when it came out and it quickly worked its way into my life. I had actually forgotten how many of the little things I say come from this flick. (”Good talk, see you out there” “earmuffs” just to name two.)

The other thing that surprised me about Old School is how many guys in it have kind of blown up. The dude who plays Spanish is on Reaper and one of the dudes is on Big Bang Theory (a great show if you haven’t seen it). There’s more, but I’ve forgotten them. It’s been a few days.

I’ve seen most (maybe all) of the Frat Pack movies since this one and I’ve got to say, only Wedding Crashers comes close to Old School. There’s just something about the combination of Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn that lights up the screen with comedy fireworks. Add in director Todd Phillips and you’ve got comedy gold. I’m hoping the oft-rumored sequel goes through.

When it came out, the comedy landscape wasn’t looking too good. We’d weathered the storm of bad teen comedies, bad spoof flicks and studio-churned lameo comedy and Old School was our gift. I’d like to think it paved the way for Judd Apatow and his crew as well, which is awesome cause I can’t freaking wait for Pineapple Express to come out.

So, like I said, after I peeped Old School I moved on to Office Space which is great for anyone whose ever had a job. You can’t watch it without being reminded of SOMEONE you work with. Yeah, you know it’s true, unless you’re the person yourself. Anyway, it’s nice to watch someone break out of the corporate mold and have some fun even if it involves crime. It’s like a funny Wanted (the comic) without all the unnecessary violence and sexual assault.

Office Space is another one of those movies with a slew of catch phrases and tag lines. The first time I saw it I actually came in 15 minutes late and just though he decided to not go to work (instead of the hypnosis thing from the guy who used to be on Whose Line is It Anyway). It was still good even missing the beginning. Oh, I also liked Jen Aniston, even though she’s basically playing the same part she’s been playing since Leprechaun (and on into Friends). And finally, Diedrich Bader, who I just interviewed for ToyFare #135 (he’s the voice of Batman in the upcoming Brave and the Bold, which looks rad) rocks the house as Lawrence the neighbor who’d do two chicks if he was given a million bucks. Go Lawrence.

Well, I think that about wraps up my ramblings on the subjects. Thanks for paying attention.

Dueling Reviews: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Remake

Hey gang, we’ve got a new feature here, Dueling Reviews. A few years back when I first got to Wizard a rad dude named Rickey Purdin and I became roommates and started watching movies all the time. Mostly horror movies. So, we’ve got pretty similar tastes when it comes to those kinds of films, but not always. This is one of
those cases as he likes the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre and I don’t. So, to give a fair and balanced perspective I asked him to jump on and offer up his opinion on the flick. So, here’s the basics before we get into it:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Written by Scott Kosar
Directed by Marcus Nispel
Starring Jessica Biel, R. Lee Ermey, Eric Balfour and a bunch of other folks with narration by John Larroquette

No offense to my friends from Texas of which Rickey is one, but it seems like only bad things happen when you drive through the state in which everything is bigger. Like getting killed by freaks. The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of my top two favorite horror movies of all time, so I was pretty surprised when Rickey recommended this remake. So how did it hold up?

First, the story though. The flick opens with a cold case-like explanation telling you that these are based on true events and even shows “archival footage” from the 70s (which is when the movie is SUPPOSED to be set). We then switch to the actual movie which follows five kids as they’re on the way to a concert and stop to pick up a female hitchhiker. This woman has been terrorized by the Hewitt family (Leatherface’s peeps) and is just trying to get away, but it turns out that the kids are actually heading back towards the Hewitt’s headquarters. She freaks out and shoots herself in the head in the van. So the kids stop and try to deal with it responsibly by calling the local police and all that. From there they split up and find out just how crazy the Hewitt’s are and start getting killed. Pretty standard horror movie stuff.

I know I’m supposed to look at this TCM as its own independent flick, but it just doesn’t work for me. It’s impossible to not compare a remake with the original, especially when you’re so familiar with the original. Which isn’t to say that I hated all the changes these folks made. I have problems with the hitchhiker girl that I will get to, but it doesn’t stem from changing her character from the original. But I really did like the opening credits and the old footage because it implies that the real world actually got involved at some point to try and stop these people. I’d like to see that movie actually.

So, what didn’t I like? Well, first off, I didn’t buy for a second that this was set in the 70s. Maybe it’s because they were going to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert and you can still do that. Plus, I see crappy vans like they ride around in all the time. I’m not sure if that’s nit picky or not, but it bugged me.

I also wasn’t all that scared. Sure, part of that is because I’m desensitized as hell by now, but watching the original TCM still freaks me out and I just don’t get that here. I think part of it is the style they used to shoot/edit the movie. I don’t know what it’s called but it’s been used a lot since this one came out. It felt tired to me because I’ve seen it in so many flicks, but that’s not this movie’s fault so I can’t blame them. But, it did feel to “movie” like and completely lacked that “I’m right in this with them” feel that the original had due to the film quality and what not. I guess what I’m saying is that it looked too slick. It should have been dirtier like the Hewitts themselves.

And speaking of the Hewitts, man are they creepy. I had no problem with the restructuring of the family or the lack of the infamous “dinner scene.” In fact I found that to be pretty brave. But, what bugged me was when they showed Leatherface’s ugly mug. I don’t want an explanation for what he does (as they give later on in the movie). I don’t care how badly he was made fun of as a kid or what’s wrong with his actual face. There’s no reason for me to feel sympathetic towards a character that murders and tortures people with hooks, chainsaws and bathtubs full of blood or whatever that was. He’s bad, that’s that. Get on with the maiming.

Speaking of the chainsaw for just a second, it wasn’t scary at all in this remake. Well, it was scary in the sense that all chainsaws are scary, but what made the original so terrifying was the looming threat of those teeth tearing into you, which was mostly achieved by its place in the sound mix. It was right there, always right behind you, always loud, always ready to attack. In the remake it just doesn’t sound as good. It feels buried like a regular old sound effect and that really takes away from the looming scare factor.

But, hey, the movie wasn’t all bad. There’s this scene where Leatherface chases one of the dudes through a huge maze of hanging sheets (it was a LOT of sheets) that really captured what I was talking about above with the impending doom factor. There’s also a scene where Jessica Biel has to kill one of her friends because she can’t get him off of a set of hooks. That was pretty crazy too. I also like the cast for the most part. R. Lee Ermey’s as over the top as always and the kids are all good, even though Jessica actually seems to fit and strong to be running around so scared. Not that I’d expect even Hulk Hogan to turn around and try to fight a psycho with a chainsaw, but you get my meaning. I hope.

But now, on to my biggest problem with the movie: its ending. So, Biel gets away from Leatherface’s Saw-like torture chamber with the help of the youngest Hewitt, a kid who later gets punished for helping her and one of her friends escape. She gets chased through the meat factory by Leatherface and at some point decides its a good idea to hide in a locker with a meat cleaver and then GETS LEATHERFACE’S ATTENTION. Brilliant! She even lets him walk by her and calls out so he’ll come back and look for her. She jumps out of the locker and ends up cutting his arm off with the meat cleaver. So she’s in the clear right? He’s freaking out so she runs away and gets to a road where a nice trucker picks her up even though she’s soaking wet covered in blood and probably smells awful (but hey, she’s hot). So, he’s driving her away when they pass by the sign for the gas station where all of her troubles started (when they pulled over to call the cops about the dead hitchhiker who freaked out in the back of THEIR car). So what does she do? She freaks out and tries to grab the wheel. So, the truck driver does what any normal person would do, he stops and tries to get help at the gas station. I understand freaking out. Hey, she’s had a pretty crappy day (though at least she didn’t get gummed by grandpa at dinner), but the driver made no indication of stopping. She just went nuts and he stopped because of her. You’d think if you were getting out murdertown safely, you’d take whatever you could get.

Okay, so the driver’s out of the truck and what does she do? Nope, not just grab the keys and say “sorry dude.” She sneaks around and grabs a baby that the family is fawning over while they’re distracted (it’s a tacked on plot element that was mentioned earlier in the movie, I think the kid was actually the hitchhiker’s child, or something) and then hotwires R. Lee Ermey’s police car and drives away in the rain. Though not before she repeatedly drives over Sherrif Ermy a few times and Leatherface gets one last jump at the camera in. The whole ending felt like it could have ended better a few times and just kept getting more and more ridiculous which took away from what, otherwise, was a pretty good last 20 minutes.

And now, Rickey will surely show me up:

Rickey:

“Well, I gotta admit that while the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is definitely one of the most terrifying movies I’ve ever seen (the kind that creeps back into your mind at the most inappropriate times like when you’ve just laid down for bed in a newly lightless room or when you’re walking home from the bar in the dark all alone), no movie has ever been untouchable for me when it comes to a remake (except The Goonies and Monster Squad). That’s why I was more open to the idea of the updated version when it was released back in 2003 than TJ – but that’s not to say I prefer the remake; I just find a different kind of enjoyment in it. I may also have had a better viewing experience than TJ, which probably also increased my enjoyment of the film. It was Halloween and a bunch of my friends rolled down to the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas to check the film out. We had a bucket of beer between us and were sitting in the coolest theater in the world, ready to wet our pants with fear.

“That being said, though, I think the new TCM had a million and one things going for it in 2003. The Saw and Hostel film franchises had yet to open (that’d be 2004 and 2005, respectively), so the gorier, funkier takes on the slasher scenes in TCM were still fresh wounds on the eyes of the audience. TCM was also one of the few times that the MTV style of hip, beautiful, crisp images worked for me in a horror film. Sure Jessica Biel was gorgeous. But there was something creepy and crouching behind that massive metal door in that middle-of-nowhere mansion that whispered, “What do her insides look like?” and all I could do was stare at the screen.

“When looking at remakes, I mostly keep myself from trying to compare the remake to the original. I think you have to sometimes because the two films, while similar on the surface, almost always have a different intention. With the original TCM, director Tobe Hooper basically scared the audience sh_tless by showing what many actually believed to be a snuff film with a docu-style cinematography. It was a look into a world so horribly shifted from ordinary life that it was easy to see why the surviving girl had lost her mind by the end. With this remake, though, director Marcus Nispel wasn’t necessarily trying to pass off a rehash of the original, so much as update it with a more twisted look into the Hewitt family and a visual palette that, by itself, was extremely discomforting.

“From the start, you feel the heat in this small Texas town and the flies, sweat, blood, tears, saliva, fingernails and goo covering every frame maintain that constant anxiety. And the more the film continues after the genius R. Lee Ermey arrives on screen, the more your stomach hurts with the anticipation that something just god-awful will jump out and grab you. That’s not to even mention the real-world oddness a backwoods southern family can ooze. The last thing you want to run into after a girl shoots herself in the back of your car is a redneck cop eye-balling your ladyfriend and threatening to shoot you. I thought the look on the stoner kid’s face was legit. And don’t get me started on the little Hewitt who helps out Jessica. That kid was creepy enough in The Ring, but toss some hillbilly teeth on him and take away his shoes and…I just need a bath thinking about it (He’s tolerable, though, in the intolerable Drillbit Taylor)

“As for Leatherface, I thought the remake’s version employed a less unpredictable demeanor in the hulking madman, but there was some palpable terror in that Xanax-ed portrayal. Like a quiet, blood-covered dog whose steak you just pulled away. The unknown terror you know he’s about to unleash just continues to scare. For that matter, all the Leatherfaces in all of the various TCM films have all been fairly separate from each other and instigate their own, respective types of unease.

“And as for the ending, I thought it was rad that she chopped off Leatherface’s arm! I love when a movie tosses me a curveball like that because it leaves me thinking ANYTHING can happen. Especially when that type of thing creates a deviation in a remake from the remake’s source material. Just when you think the move will just follow the ending of the original, now there are NO rules. And that she kept getting stuck back in that backwards town just upped the tension for me. It was the “Don’t go in that room!” scenes for me. And that she got to take one final revenge on R. Lee Ermey’s kidnapping, rapist, misogynistic perv of a villain made me want to cheer. And it had me asking, “What would I do in that situation?” I like to believe I’d go back and help that baby. And I’d like to believe I could work my cathartic anger out on the man who created all this horror for me in the first place.

“So, it’s not better than the original – just different. But it did excite the horror genre at a time when horror was a little dead at the box office. Coupled with The Ring, the new TCM pointed out a sudden and promising new dawn on the horizon. I’m not sure it’s been a great day since that dawn, but it was still some scary sh-t in 2003. Plus, it has me excited for Nispel’s next remake; the 2009 New Line film Friday the 13th. Which, despite all out differences, TJ and I will be at on opening night.”

He’s right! We’ll definitely be there. Hope you enjoyed this extra long, extra dueling review.

Bloody Awful

So, sometimes a movie comes along and it’s so terribly bad, that I really want to shut it off. Sometimes I do and other times I’m not done with my beer so I keep it on. I would have rather thrown an entire case down the drain than finish the terribleness that is Roger Corman’s Bloody Mama. The flick stars Shelly Winters (of Poseidon Adventure fame) as Ma Barker, the notorious leader of the Barker Boys crime family which consisted of her sons and a few other fellas. Here’s the thing though, according to my research (and by that, I, of course, mean Wikipedia), Ma Barker had nothing to do with her sons’ country-wide crime spree. But that didn’t stop Corman and Co. from throwing in a disturbing off camera incestual rape scene in the first 3 minutes followed by the young Ma Barker hoping that some days he’d be surrounded by her own sons that will protect her. Ugh. Oh yeah, Robert De Niro’s in this bad boy (and I mean BAD) as the son who’s on drugs. It’s really a truly bad film that makes little-to-no sense and I don’t really want to write much more about it, so I’ll just post my cleaned up, stream of consciousness notes here instead of really getting into it. If anything below makes you want to see the movie to understand what I mean, please don’t. E-mail me and I’ll answer you questions.

Bloody Mama (1970)

Do we really need to start with a rape followed by an upbeat jingle jangle song?

Ma Barker’s a criminal AND a racist

And now we have prison rape, yeesh

Why would cops shoot with those broads hangin’ off the car?

Mona gets passed around to the brothers, yuck

What the hell is the knife throwing game?

No one to root for, no hero, except De Niro cause i like him

And…another rape plus murder, sorry Rembrandt you were the only not hideous thing in this movie

I want all of these characters to get shot in the face, where’s J Edgar Hoover when you need him?

And now Ma wants to have sex with her hostage

Why are they catching gators? They fish with a pig and then shoot it with a tommy gun.

De Niro overdoses, oh well.

finally, SHOOTING, the END is near

Shelley Winters with a tommy gun mowing down cops is kinda funny

Also, they’ve drawn a crowd who’s watching it like it’s a play

Who are the cops shooting at outside while Shelly and her oldest son are talking? Everyone else is dead

Oh snap the last son just shot himself in the face with a tommy gun

Nice death montage followed by an ending with a stamp dedicated to mothers behind the credits is pretty funny

Ugh, what a pile of no goodness

Theatre Hopping

Hey Gang, sorry about not posting recently. I’ve been falling asleep pretty early (cause I’m getting old) which cuts my viewing and reading time sufficiently. But, I have been reading a few things here and there. I’ve had a copy of Sandman Mystery Theatre Vol. 3 in my “to read” pile for a while now. I was hoping I’d get Vol. 2 (I’d already read 1 and 4) so things would make a little more sense, but I decided “what the heck” and jumped in anyway. I had actually forgotten I had 4 on my shelf, so it was fun to go back and re-read that after 3.

Okay, so here’s the deal with Sandman for anyone who doesn’t know. In the way-late ’30s Wesley Dodds comes back from a trip to “the Orient,” he’s having these crazy, prophetic dreams and decides to become a Mystery Man called The Sandman. Armed with a gas gun and a gas mask, he helps solve crimes in a pre-WWII New York City. The book was co-written by Matt Wagner and Steven T. Seagle and drawn by Guy Davis and launched from the Vertigo imprint in 1993.

Volume 3 is entitled “The Vamp.” Basically, the members of a gentlemen’s social club are getting aced and it all comes back to a pretty nasty fraternity “prank” they played back in the day. Interestingly enough, the mystery isn’t what really draws me into this Sandman story. I had a pretty good idea of who the killer was part way through the book and that was fine because I was really swept up in the world of the late-’30s NYC. Like I mentioned in the Batman: Thrillkillers review, I’m a sucker for certain time periods and this is definitely one of them. There’s this really interesting mix of British upperclassness, but with a very American twist to it. Plus you’ve got the building tension about what will be called World War II and on top of all that you’ve got the dawning of the Mystery Men in the DCU. This was back when Vertigo books could still have ties to the DCU. Wagner and Seagle also tackle some bigger issues like racism and homosexuality in ways that seem familiar even today.

The great thing about this volume is that it’s told completely from the perspective of Dian Belmont, Wesley Dodds’ girlfriend (and future wife). She’s a real smart cookie who fancies herself an amateur detective (here dad’s the DA). The story really follows her more than anyone else and we get to see why she’s one of the coolest unsung characters in comics as she navigates the worlds of jazz clubs and high society functions all the while trying to figure out how her friend from college is related to the killers.

“The Scorpion” follows a killer who uses a whip as he goes after the members of a particular oil company. Again, the killer’s identity is pretty obvious right off the bat. If you’re paying attention, you’ll be able to figure out who it is pretty quickly. But that’s kind of how some TV procedurals work too right? You get a pretty good idea of who did what, but it’s the process of watching Wesley figure out for himself while trying to keep Dian in the dark about his dual identity and really get a hang of this whole superhero game. What’s more interesting here is the why.

I’ve talked to some of my friends about this book and while some have read it, others couldn’t get into it because of the art. Davis’ art does come off as sketchy at times, but I highly encourage you guys to give it a shot. Once you get used to it, it’s like you don’t even notice anymore (like watching a movie in black and white nowadays). Davis does an amazing job of putting you in this, most likely, unfamiliar world and grounding you and the characters in it. And then he’ll throw some pretty wild dream sequences at you that look completely different, but really capture that dream quality that’s so hard to put on the page.

So, if you’re solely looking for a mystery book, I don’t think this would be the best pick. But if you’re looking for a great look at a group of highly complex and interesting characters in the unique setting of the 1930s DCU, I can’t make a higher recommendation. Let’s just hope DC keeps putting out the volumes. They’re up to 6 now, which I have, but I still need to get my hands on 2 and 5.

Making a (Thrill)Killing

So, every few months I have a few beers and start clearing off my trade shelf to make room for new stuff. But I don’t just automatically get rid of things. Sure there’s a pile of books I’m going to throw up on Swap or see if any of my buddies need, but I also make another stack of books that I want to re-read to see if they deserve that place on my shelf. Batman: Thrillkiller was one of the books on the chopping block. What did I think? Read on…

Batman: Thrillkiller (1997)

Written by Howard Chaykin
Art by Dan Brereton

I’ll put it this way, Thrillkiller is heading back to my shelf.

Here’s the deal, Thrillkiller is an Elseworlds book, which was a stamp that DC put on out of continuity books that took familiar concepts and put a different spin on them. This one obviously focuses on Batman, but it doesn’t start with Batman, instead, we get a load of Batgirl and Robin in the early ’60s. Batgirl is still the daughter of James Gordon and Robin is still acrobat Dick Grayson (though his real family name is different), but instead of Bruce Wayne living in Wayne Manor, Barbara lives there and has created her own batcave below. I’m not really sure where she got her money, but I assume it’s from her mother who got murdered. Little Barbara found her with a bat-shaped blood pool around her (hence Batgirl). Also, Chaykin calls her a madcap heiress way too many times.

Batgirl and Robin walk the mean streets of Gotham standing up for the little guy, but not against your average supervillains. They’re butting heads with the corrupt cops of Gotham. But not all the cops are bad guys, take Bruce Wayne for instance. His parents lost their fortune in the depression and went on to get murdered by their servants. He’s been tasked by Jim Gordon (another good cop) to both stop the corruption and bring Batgirl and Robin to justice.

I actually don’t want to get too into the story in case you want to check it out and see for yourself, which I highly recommend. I will say one thing about the trade, though, that confused me. I thought the book was made up of a four-issue series when it’s actually a three-issue series and a one-shot put out later. Which explains why the last chapter of the book seems separate but equal to the previous ones.

Okay, here’s what I like about the book. First up, the art. Dan Brereton has an somewhat exaggerated yet super-sexy style that really appeals to me. Back in my younger con-going days (1999 to be exact) I met Dan at either the Mid Ohio Con in Columbus or the convention in Novi, MI. He drew me this rad Harley Quinn sketch for free and also gave me the great suggestion of getting two sketchbooks in order to maximize your sketch-getting potential.

So, yeah there’s a little nastalgia for the first creator that ever talked to me like a real person and did something cool for me, but I also really like Dan’s style. You should check out Nocturnals sometime.

Anyway, I’m also a big fan of this time period. As Chaykin says in the first issue, this is a pre-JFK assassination ’60s. Things are going crazy, the cops are corrupt, but the country still has the spirit that seemed get squeezed out when JFK got killed. Chaykin really captures the mood of the times and even uses what seems like language of fiction from the time in his narration.

But what I really like about this Elseworlds tale is that the relationships aren’t just assumed. In a lot of Superman EW tales, Superman always falls in love with Lois. In this case, Bruce Wayne isn’t rich, he doesn’t even start off as Batman. And even though Barbara Gordon and Dick Grayson are together, it’s a whole different dynamic than what you’re used to in the comics. Also, the villains were changed, some more drastically than others. Joker is a woman, there’s a dirty cop called Duell that looks like Two-Face, but then there’s also Harvey Dent the DA. You’ve even got Black Canary and Roy Harper showing up in the one-shot. Oh and Catwoman is a stripper. But even though the characters’ circumstances are different, you still feel like you know Bruce Wayne because he’s a tough guy who’s out for justice and doesn’t mind busting a few skulls to get it.

Faculty Advisory

Robert Rodriguez is one of those director’s who’s always impressed me. Sin City, From Dusk Till Dawn, Planet Terror and his Mexico Trilogy were all great in my mind. So, when we got our online Blockbuster account I added just about all of his movies, especially looking forward to The Faculty because 15-year-old TJ wasn’t allowed to see it and later TJs never got around to it. Well, the wait was a pretty long one and then, what do you know, we included it in ToyFare’s Best Alien Invasions (see ToyFare #133 on sale today to find out what place it took and who snagged the #1 spot). So, with that, I borrowed the flick and watched it last night.

The Faculty (1998)

Written by Kevin Williamson, David Wechter and Bruce Kimmel
Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Starring Elijah Wood, Jordana Brewster, Clea DuVall, Usher, Josh Hartnett, Salma Hayek, Famke Janssen, Bebe Neuwirth, Robert Patrick, Jon Stewart and many more

Well, you can add this one to the list of Rodriguez movies that I dug. Part of it was a sense of nostalgia I got while watching it. It kind of reminded me of Can’t Hardly Wait. Not thematically, but when it comes to star power. There are SO MANY familiar faces in this movie. Just check out the list above. Freakin’ Jon Stewart plays a science teacher who gets possessed by an alien parasite and stabbed in the eye with some kind of caffeine drug. Great stuff.

Oh, I guess I should explain the plot. A small town in Ohio gets invaded by alien parasites who burrow their way into bodies, taking over control of the inhabitant. Elija Wood’s character finds one of the parasites on the football field and later finds himself in a closet with the hot girl as they see the football coach (T-1000 himself Robert Patrick) and another teacher drop a parasite in the hot nurse (Salma Hayek). From there a mismatched group of high schoolers (think basically The Breakfast Club. Don’t know what that is? Go away) bands together and figures out that the drugs that Josh Hartnett’s been peddling around the school can kill them and do their best to stop the invasion.

I really like how they don’t muck about when it comes to the story on this flick. You’re into the story pretty early on with Elija Wood finding the parasite. They don’t mess around with “is this really happening” BS too much that comes with these kinds of movies. You get your set group of characters pretty early on and you strap in for the ride with them. I also like that Matt Parkman’s partner from Heroes (Clea DuVall) actually compares what’s going on to Invasion of the Body Snatchers and all that. She tells Elija Wood about this and he wonders if all the movies and whatnot about aliens is actually a way for them to get people complacent so they don’t think an alien invasion is possible. It’s a great bit of business that feels really natural in “our world.”

Speaking of the cast again, it’s a lot of fun to see some pretty huge actors (along with some not-so-huge and completely unknown actors) in these roles. But they’re also really really convincing in their roles. Elija Wood looks like a huge geek and acts like one too. Josh Hartnett’s loser Zeke is pretty much a genius who just doesn’t like school and deals drugs on campus. They all handle the Thing-like suspense of “who’s an alien and who’s not?” so convincingly that I really couldn’t figure out who was and who wasn’t.

I also liked how the special FX (do they still spell it like that? Probably not, oh well) looked. Especially in the scene where the parasite-controlled Jon Stewart attacks the kids in a classroom. Zeke rips the blade off of a paper cutter and chops Stewart’s fingers off. But they don’t just lie there, the snake themselves towards the kids. But that’s not all, whisps of blood snake out from his fingers until he’s stabbed in the eye, foams and the parasites under his skin die. Crazy stuff.

All in all, this is a fun little romp that shows off Rodriguez’s directing chops along with the acting talent of the cast that has gone on to prove itself just as well as the adults who play the teachers. Oh and Bebe Nuerth looks hot as the principal. Yeah, I said it.

A Double Feature for the Ages

The other night (Wednesday I think), I decided to get caught up on my movies from Blockbuster so I watched a double feature of PCU (1994) and The Boondock Saints (1999). Now, these two flicks don’t have anything in common (trust me I looked), but I really enjoyed re-watching both movies.

PCU’s about this high school senior (pre-frosh) who comes to visit a college (based on Wesleyan from what I’ve read), but instead of staying in the dorms, he ends up in a place called The Pit that used to be a fraternity house back in the day, but is now co-ed housing. We had something like this at my college, they were called SLUs (for “single living units,” I think). Anyway, the blind dude from Becker signed Jeremy Piven (who even then, looked about 30) up to house a pre-frosh, but he’s having none of it. After the usual “introducing the new kid to all the different groups on campus” scene (I still love those scenes, even long after high school and college), the pre-frosh successfully pisses off each and every highly-sensitive group and minority on campus. Meanwhile, David Spade plays a yuppie who belongs to the fraternity that used to live in The Pit. He’s conspiring with the president of the school to get The Pitters kicked out of their place. All of this leads to a killer party at The Pit (so they can raise money to keep their house) where George Clinton and Parliament/The P-Funk All-Stars play. Then they ruin the bicentennial thingy so the dean gets fired. Basically, the whole idea is that being overly politically correct (hence PCU) actually separates people instead of bringing them together. Oh, and that beer and funk solves everything.

I remember watching this flick on Comedy Central back in the day. I’m not sure if it was on the T & A Matinee that they used to do right around the time I got home from grade school (excellent scheduling CC!) or just on the pre-South Park station, but I saw it a lot. And it made me want to go to college. It was a lot of fun watching the movie post-college because, even though the movies about 15 years old by now, there’s still a lot of truth in the cartoony antics. Oh, it’s also a lot of fun watching it and calling out different people. One of the guys from Big Love is in it, so is Gary Busey’s son Jake. Oh, also, Zak Penn of X-Men movie writing fame go-wrote this movie. That’s awesome. If you haven’t checked out PCU, I highly recommend it.

Which brings me to Boondock Saints which is a flick about two Irish brothers in Southie (that’s in Boston, kids) who decide to become vigilantes and kill bad dudes in their neighborhood. One of the mob bosses isn’t too thrilled about this, so he arranges for an incredibly dangerous hitman that goes by the name Il Duce (played by the second teacher from Head of the Class Billy Connelly) to kill the brothers. Oh, duh, Willem Dafoe plays an FBI agent trying to figure out who’s killing these bad guys. He’s like a profiler I guess. They shoot the scenes pretty interestingly, basically they show the brothers about to kill somebody, then jump to the aftermath when Dafoe shows up. Dafoe then re-imagines the whole thing, at one point, even acting like a conductor. It’s a hard thing to explain, but it was pretty cool to see.

I was kind of surprised about the reaction I got to my friends when I told them I re-watched Saints. I really enjoyed the movie (in the same way you enjoy a good Punisher comic, who doesn’t like watching bad guys get wasted? especially when the guys doing it are just so damn likeable), but when I mentioned it to a few of my friends they said they didn’t like it very much. But it wasn’t really the movie they disliked but the hype that surrounded it. I only ever had two people tell me I should watch it, so I didn’t realize there was such a huge cult following around the movie comparing it to Pulp Fiction (which I would definitely not do). So, I suggested they check it out again, like I suggest all of you to check it out. I’m also excited to see the long-planned sequel that may or may not ever happen. Heck, I’d even check out a comic based on The Boondock Saints.

The Joke’s on Them

Sometimes books get a bad wrap. Joker’s Last Laugh is definitely one of those. Frankly, the mandatory tie-ins did become way to0 much, but I just finished reading the main mini-series for the first time and actually liked it. So here goes the review of

Batman: The Joker’s Last Laugh (2001)

Written by Chuck Dixon & Scott Beatty
Drawn by Pete Woods, Marcos Martin, Walter McDaniel, Andy Kuhn, Ron Randall & Rick Burchett
Starring The Joker, Nightwing, Batman, Oracle, Black Canary, a legion of Joker-ized super-villains and Shilo Norman, the dude who used to be and now is Mr. Miracle (kinda/maybe)

So, here’s the basic plot of the story: Joker finds out he’s dying, so he sets this elaborate plan in motion to poison a huge number of villains in the DCU with a gas that makes them go crazy Joker-style. There’s a lot of twists and turns along the way, including (SPOILER) the fact that the Joker’s not really dying (it was a prank pulled on him by a doctor in the Slab) and that Nightwing beats the Joker to death. Yup, it’s true. But someone else (Batman, Spoiler, Robin, Nightwing or Huntress, we’re not sure) actually brings him back. Crazy right?

What really interests me about this story is that it doesn’t really feel like a big crossover. It doesn’t star a big character, except for Joker himself I guess (Batman’s hardly in it). Nightwing, Oracle and Shilo Norman, who was in charge of security for The Slab at the time, and, obviously Joker, all take center stage at times. But Joker gets the most face time, making him the real star. And a villain as the star of a big crossover like this is really interesting.

As the star, Joker shines. Dixon and Beatty give him a great, crazy, ingenious voice and we really get to see how smart of a villain he is. Not only did he figure out the chemistry involved in turning the Slab’s nerve gas into Joker gas, but he continues to use the supervillains and their powers as tools to continue his assault on humanity. He even continually kills Multi-Man (who gets a new superpower every time he dies and comes back to life) until he gets the right power to bust them out of prison.

I’m also a fan of the art. Pete Woods and Marcos Martin especially bring their style to the wacky world of the Joker and it really fits well. Even though a different artist handles each issue and they each have fairly unique styles and inkers, the book still retains a fun, fluid continuity from issue to issue.

And really, I think that’s why I liked Joker’s Last Laugh, it’s fun. Which is weird to say about a story staring a lunatic facilitating untold murders (and even lighting enough fires on the earth that the JLA could see a sneering smiley face from the Watchtower). In the end, the DCU is pretty much the same as it was before the story started, but Nightwing and Oracle have definitely been changed and God only knows what’s going on in the Joker’s mind. Oh, the Slab also ended up in the South Pole due to some weird teleportation thanks to Black Mass. I do kind of hope that DC puts out a companion book, though, because it seems like there’s some fairly important plot points that took place in other issues (like Robin going up against Killer Croc which results in Nightwing thinking he’s dead), but for the most part, LL is a complete story that kept me entertained and reminded me about how different comics were even 7 years ago. Can you imagine this creative team doing a line-wide crossover now?

Hey, Where’d He Go?

Hey gang, so, I went on vacation last week to head back to T-Town for my buddy Randy’s bachelor party and wedding. Congrats to him. Now, I failed to mention this to you guys before I took off and didn’t have computer access for the week, so sorry about that. But, while I was gone a few things went down on the interwebs. As of now, I don’t know how to make these clickable links, but you can check these things out while I get my next few posts together:

First up I was involved with WizardUniverse.com’s Thursday Morning Quarterback a few weeks back. We covered Angel, Justice League of America (my personal favorite book of the week) and more.

http://www.wizarduniverse.com/061908tmqb.html

Also, my good buddy, former Wizard staffer, current ToyFare funny-bringer and renowned blogger Sean Collins dropped the folks at BoingBoing.com a link to my OMAC review which was pretty crazy. You can check out what they had to say about this here blog (though really, they just talk about how crazy OMAC is and, let’s be honest, it is). Hopefully some of you found your way here because of it, so welcome!

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/06/19/review-of-jack-kirby.html

And finally, Poe Ghostal did a quick 5 questions with me regarding ToyFare and all things toys, so head on over to his site and check it and the rest of his rad site out.

http://www.poeghostal.com/2008/06/5-questions-with-tj-dietsch.html